Robin Waite had been coaching members of Ali Abdaal’s team for weeks. He’d shown up at events, helped direct lost attendees, offered free strategy sessions. When one of the team members finally said, “I have to pay you something—what do you want?” Waite had his answer ready.
It wasn’t what you’d expect.
“Don’t put me up for the podcast because I know he filled all those slots already. So just put me on subs bench. There’s 24 people flying in from all over the world over the next three weeks. If one of them can’t make it, just call me. I’ll get on a train and I’ll come down and record.”
The conventional move would have been to ask for the thing he actually wanted—a guest spot on Deep Dive, a podcast with millions of listeners. He’d earned it. The goodwill was there. The door was open.
Instead, he asked to be a backup.
Forty-eight hours later, he got the call. Someone had canceled. The episode he recorded eventually generated over 3,000 inquiries and roughly $300,000 in business for his coaching practice.
The temptation is to read this as strategic modesty—underselling yourself to seem less threatening, then getting lucky when circumstances align. But something more interesting is happening here. Waite wasn’t pretending to want less than he wanted. He was demonstrating that he understood the situation from the other person’s perspective.
The podcast slots were full. Waite knew this. By acknowledging that reality in his ask, he signaled that he wasn’t making demands based on what he felt he deserved. He was working within the constraints that actually existed. That’s different from humility. It’s awareness.
There’s a version of this story where Waite pushes harder: “I’ve given so much value—surely you can make room.” That version might have worked too. But it would have required the other person to say yes by displacing someone else, or by bending their own plans. The subs-bench ask required nothing except remembering his name when something fell through.
The irony is that asking for less often positions you to receive more. Not because the universe rewards modesty, but because you’ve removed the friction that makes people hesitate. You’ve made it easy to say yes.
Waite puts it in terms of “sliding doors” moments—any one decision in the chain could have led somewhere else entirely. What if he’d asked for too much? What if he’d gotten the timing wrong? The outcome wasn’t guaranteed by his restraint, but it was enabled by it.
For podcasters thinking about their own asks—whether pitching guests, seeking sponsors, or building partnerships—the lesson isn’t to ask for less than you want. It’s to ask for something the other person can actually give you without rearranging their world. That’s where the yeses live.
The subs bench isn’t a consolation prize. Sometimes it’s the only seat that was ever available.
This field note references the PodTalk episode “Momentum with Robin Waite,” published May 5, 2025.